We surveyed our listeners to find out what questions they had about vaginas. Then we dug deep into researching to find solid answers for all the things. These are the top 11 questions we received about sex and vaginas.
On the Podcast: The Vagina Episode
We debated if this topic was too much, but… we’re kind of too much sometimes – so we went for it. We are talking all things vaginas and nothing is off limits. Does having sex make you loose? How to get a tighter vagina? Is shaving bad for you? Does the G-spot really exist? We are answering these questions and many more in episode 218.
Does having sex make your vagina loose?
No. According to Healthline, vaginal looseness is a result of weakened vaginal muscles… not having too much sex. Vaginal muscles can be weakened after childbirth and over time with age, but kegel exercises or pelvic rehabilitation can strengthen things up.
How do you get a tighter vagina?
There are several things that can improve pelvic health and strengthen your pelvic floor and tighten your vagina, according to Dr. Manu Lakshmi, such as:
- Pelvic Floor exercises that can include things like squats, crunches, or pelvic weights
- Pelvic rehabilitation (pelvic floor therapy)
- Having good sex (orgasming to be specific)
Can your vagina really get stretched out?
Dr. Manu Laksmi states that “The feeling of sexual arousal relaxes the muscles making the vaginal space less constricted, or “looser” and feelings of anxiety make the muscles become more engaged and “tighter.” The ability of the vaginal tissue to stretch and then return to the same size may change slightly with age and after childbirth, but such changes are attributed to changes in the pelvic floor muscles. A healthy pelvic floor can also influence sex by preventing prolapse and incontinence.”
According to Healthline, “It’s important to know that a ‘tight’ vagina may be a sign of an underlying concern, especially if you’re experiencing discomfort during penetration… Your vaginal muscles naturally relax when you’re aroused. If you’re not turned on, interested, or physically prepared for intercourse, your vagina won’t relax, self-lubricate, and stretch.”
Is shaving your vagina bad for you?
Michelle Metz, MD says in an article from Women’s Health Magazine “keep in mind when shaving your pubic area, the hair is there for a reason… Pubic hair is also made to prevent irritation from friction” (like friction during sex with your partner).
The article also notes that if you do shave, doing so at the end of a shower and shaving downward in the direction of the hair can help to prevent ingrown hairs
Does hair actually grow back thicker if you shave?
No. When you shave hair is growing back from the middle of the hair shaft and may feel thicker, but it’s not. When you wax, the hair was to reform from the root and the tip which can make things feel different from when you shave, but neither technique are making the hair actually thinner or thicker. (Fun fact – I used to do Brazilian waxing in salons and clients would often comment that they prefer waxing because their hair grows back thicker when they shave, and this is definitely a common myth. It just takes longer to grow back when you wax.)
Is douching actually good for you?
So first of all – what is douching…. The word ”douche” is French for ”wash” or ”soak.” WebMD explains douching as “a method to wash out the vagina, usually with a mixture of water and vinegar.” The site also notes that “Douches that are sold in drugstores and supermarkets contain antiseptics and fragrances. A douche comes in a bottle or bag and is sprayed through a tube upward into the vagina.”
Cleveland Clinic Dr. Elisa Ross states that “ I advise my patients not to douche on a regular basis. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. When you try to cleanse it yourself by using a douche, you actually flush out the normal, healthy microbes as well as temporarily change the pH (acidic vs. basic nature of the vagina). Rather than providing protection, this sets up an environment that makes it easier for infections to develop. Additionally, all douche formulations — save for the pure saline varieties — contain ingredients that could trigger an adverse or allergic reaction.”
What about vagina facials? (Vajacials)
A vajacial is basically a facial for your vagina… or actually the outside of the vagina (vulva). The vajacial doesn’t actually treat or do anything with the inside (vagina).
While vajacials certainly have a market in the spa world, they can actually be really irritating and a lot of doctors advise they may pose more harm than good. OBGYN Dr. Leah Millheisere recommends using very gentle facial moisturizer on the vulva (outer parts of the vagina) or trying a really gentle exfoliator between shaving or waxing to help prevent ingrown hairs.
Vaginal steaming is another trending treatment that can be part of a vajacial… the claim is that nourishes and increases circulation, though from what i can tell there is very little evidence and most doctors advise against it… It seems like more a way to make money off of women’s insecurities if I’m being honest. (I mean… no one is peen steaming, right? Ballsacial anyone? No? No takers?)
Do all women have a hymen (or cherry that pops) when you lose your virginity?
One listener wrote this question in saying, “I never had bleeding the first time I had sex and the guy got really mad at me and thought I was lying about being a virgin.” We actually received multiple questions around this topic, many noting similar stories.
This is such an old myth that so may people don’t realize is not really founded in solid science and there are still a lot of people who believe the hymen is some sort of “proof” of virginity. This topic always gives me flashbacks to that time T.I. made headlines for reports that he takes his daughter to get her hymen checked every year and ensure she has not had sex. (Major ew.)
The hymen can “break” or tear from a variety of activities (not just sex). Things like horseback riding, gymnastics, riding a bicycle, falling the wrong way, using tampons, using… umm other things, fingering, even a pelvic exam can all potentially tear the hymen. Women’s Health notes that you might not even know when your hymen breaks.
Is it possible for a woman or orgasm through penetration alone?
Well according to Cosmopolitan magazine… vaginal orgasms are by no means something the majority of women experience. Studies show that more than 75% of women actually need more than just penetration to orgasm. In the Cosmo article previously referenced, Dr. Brittany Blain states that “while you might identify vaginal and clitoral orgasms as two different animals, the source of the pleasure actually comes from the same spot: the clitoris. It’s just that internal orgasms are the result of stimulation along the legs of the clitoris that you can’t see on the outside.”
Does the G Spot really exist?
This was another question that popped up a few times. I think many women may be under the impression that if they could find the “g-spot” they would be able to orgasm through penetration alone.
Sex educator, Dr. Justin Lehmiller gave a really great explanation to this question saying, “Although numerous textbooks describe the location of the G-spot as being on the front wall of the vagina, about one-third of the way inside of it, scientists have not yet found conclusive evidence that the G-spot is a distinct anatomic site. In fact, some have gone as far as to label the G-spot a ‘gynecological UFO,’ arguing that while it has many ‘sightings,’ there is no confirmation of its existence. The search for the G-spot will continue; however, some believe that what we think of as the G-spot may turn out to be nothing more than the internal portion of the clitoris.”
Why am I the only one that can get me off?!
The listener that submitted this question is definitely not alone. This was actually another one that we received multiple times. The struggle is real ladies.
There were several articles about this topic and many other women searching for the same answers. After weeding through several articles, these seemed to be the top take-a-ways here:
- You know what works for you and it takes some time before someone else will also know what works for you. You may have to show them or give it some time.
- Being comfortable is super important. Insecurities and anxiety can create a mental block that stop you from being able to feel beautiful and confident or loosing yourself in the moment.
- You may need more foreplay. It takes time for the body to be mentally and physically ready for sex. If you’re not ready it probably won’t be very enjoyable.
Erin is ambitious, sarcastic and optimistic. She values authenticity, education and personal growth. Read More…