I was so surprised when my best friend told me she had never heard of the love languages. For some reason I thought most people knew at least conceptually what they were, but I have since learned that actually… there are a lot of people who don’t – and even more who have heard of them, but don’t know much about them. So I am going to break down the basics and connect you with some resources in case you want to read or listen to more on this topic.
What is a love language?
A love language is basically just identifying and putting a name to how you prefer to give or receive love.
So what are the 5 love languages?
The five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation: Saying things that show love or compliment someone, such as “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” or “you look beautiful.”
- Gifts: Buying or picking flowers for no reason other than to show you are thinking of someone, a thoughtful birthday present, etc.
- Acts of Service: Helping someone with a project, cooking for them, etc.
- Physical Touch: Hugging, offering a massage, putting your arm around someone, and so on.
- Quality Time: Taking a trip together, spending the day doing something you both enjoy, watching a movie together, etc.
Where did the 5 love languages come from?
The five love languages were originally conceptualized in the popular book “The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. Since the success of the original book, Chapman has gone on to write more audience-specific variations, that include love languages for men, kids, singles, etc.
Can you have more than one love language?
Yes! You can have different love languages for how you prefer to give and receive love. For example when I want to show someone I care about them, I naturally lean towards words of affirmation and gift giving. According to my quiz results though, my primary love language for receiving love is acts of service. Also the quiz results break down varying percentages, indicating that while you may have one primary love language, the other love languages still have a role, but some may be less meaningful to you than others.
How do I find my love language?
Well the easiest way, if you want more immediate results…. I suggest taking the quiz through the official love languages site. If you want to dive a little deeper and better understand the different love languages and where you fall then I would pick up a copy of the book or download it from audible.
The 5 Love Languages podcast episode
We covered this topic in our very first podcast! We discussed some of the quiz questions and results. Visit our podcast landing page to subscribe and play this on your preferred app or listen below.

Modern Arranged Marriage & Matchmaking – Boom Tequila
Below is the cover art from this podcast episode… feel free to Pinterest it or just admire how incredibly cheesy we are for even taking this picture in the first place.


Erin Mullen
Erin is ambitious, sarcastic and optimistic. She values authenticity, education and personal growth. Read More…